Can I be an “escort” without being a “hooker”?

Q: Tabitha in Phoenix - I’m considering becoming an escort and I want some advice. I’m a single mother of two beautiful girls and can’t afford to pay all the bills without doing something else. I’ve been a dancer for five years and the money’s ok, but their father hasn’t paid child support in six years and I don’t have any family. Is it possible to do that work without getting all fucked up on drugs or “turned out” by some big black guy with a cadillac? I’d do anything for my girls. But if it means giving up every shred of dignity I’ve got, I’ll find something else.

This is a touchy subject for a lot of people, but I know a bit more about the subject than most. I must digress for a moment to fill you all in on a bit of history about myself. Maybe a little about my experience in this area will better qualify me to answer this question in your minds.

I started bouncing in clubs when I was 16. I bounced in a strip club where some of the girls were also escorts when I was 18 and started driving them when I was 19. At 22, I launched (and later sold) what is now the world’s largest escort community website. At 24 I opened an escort agency in Atlanta, Georgia and ran it very successfully for over 4 years. We offered health insurance, financial planning, pre-paid legal assistance, child care, corporate cell phone discounts, frequent flyer mile programs and many other things generally reserved for “mainstream” jobs. I’m active in several advocacy groups and have many friends that go back over 10 years that are escorts, professional dommes (dominatrixes), adult masseuses, exotic dancers and porn stars. Hopefully, that satisfies any questions you have about my ability to accurately answer this question.

I’m going to give you an overview of the industry as a whole before I answer you question specifically. Though, I believe that the overview will answer a lot of it.

There is a big difference between a “hooker”, i.e. a “streetwalker” and an “escort” or “call girl”. Hookers are almost always controlled by pimps, who string them out on various types of drugs (usually crack cocaine or heroine, increasingly these days - meth). They’re abused, mis-treated and usually receive little or none of the money they earn. They work in alleys, cars, flea bag motels or worse. They receive little, if any medical treatment and are always in fear for their safety or even, their lives. If they’re arrested, the police always try to get them to turn their pimps and never understand why they don’t. It’s a horrible life to live and I have nothing but sympathy for women (and men) who are put into that position or put themselves into it.

Escorting is an entirely different type of profession and generally, a different type of person. Escorts usually work 3 - 5 days a week, depending on how much they make per session and how reliant they are on the money that they make. If they’re drug addicts or alcoholics, it’s usually a personal decision, rather than something that’s forced on them. Any owner or manager of a decent escort agency would never allow a girl to work drunk or high or even looking or smelling like she’s been drinking or doing drugs. It’s bad for business and almost a guarantee that you’ll never get repeat business from that client. The clients of escorts don’t appreciate that type of girl. These are doctors, lawyers, judges, priests, accountants, engineers and business executives and the escorts have to be the kind of woman that those kind of men would be geniunely interested in.

Escorts either do “outcall” work to homes or nice hotels or have “incall” locations in nice apartments or homes where they host their clients with light conversation, good music, relaxing showers or baths, clean sheets and even a little light food or wine. Their sessions are relaxed and easy-going and both client and escort have codes of conduct and etiquette expectations throughout the time they spend together. They refuse clients who are dirty, drunk, high or unruly. Their safety is paramount and there’s always large, strong and generally armed help very close by. These women make an absolutely minimum of $200 - $250 per hour and some make more than $1500 per hour with 2 or 3 hour minimums. Rates are dependent on a number of factors from physical beauty, personality and education to fetishes and services offered. All available acts have different costs and there is a whole language to conveying the “menu” that is fluently spoken by most escorts and their clientele.

There are two types of escorts - independents and agency girls. There are advantages to both. Being an independent escort means that you take your own phone calls, do your own client screening, schedule your own appointments and are responsible for the costs of your own advertising (print and web), transportation, security and if you have one, incall location. It also means that you make all of the money you earn, whereas most agencies take anywhere from 35% to as high as 70%. Independent escorts are usually smart, capable and wise with investing their money or they’re not independents for long.

Working for an agency is how most escorts get started. There are good agencies and bad agencies, it’s up to you to figure out which is which. Some key things to consider is how long the agency has been open and how they handle call screening. Do they have an incall location? Is it nice, in a better part of town? What about transportation and security? Are they reliable and professional? If the interview involves sex, don’t do it and leave immediately. That’s an old trick and not somebody you want to work for. Be wary and don’t be afraid to say no. Look in your local phone book and alternative newspapers for the larger ads that are in the phone book from 5 years ago and are still there. Google escorts+your city name and see who comes up and then check the age of the website. Ignore the escort directories, look for agencies in your city. Is their website well put together and easy to understand? Does it have pictures of girls that you actually see at the agency or are they fake girls that they’re bait and switching with? Bait and switch is bad for you and for business. The Internet has forever changed the escort business and allowed guys to get very picky. They expect to see the girl in the picture and are generally upset when they don’t, even if they do just say ok because she’s there and they’re tired of waiting and calling around. Save yourself the headache and go with somebody who doesn’t play that game or any of the others.

The advantages of an agency are many. They handle all of your phone calls and do your client screening and appointment setting for you. That’s a huge investment of time and effort, as well as expense for phone lines, web-sites and client screening sources. They also handle all your advertising, which is another huge expense. In a city like Atlanta, advertising for an agency can easily run in excess of $5000 per month. Agencies generally have merchant accounts and give you the ability to accept credit cards. Some independents have done this for themselves too, but it’s expensive and complicated to set up and maintain. Accepting credit cards can up your business 25% to 50%, all by itself. They should also provide you with security and if there’s an incall, they should keep it in good shape and clean. But for these advantages, they’re going to take a % of what you make. Whether or not the trade off is worth it to you is up to you.
Take advantage of the Internet for all it has to offer. A quick google search will bring you countless sources of information, inspiration and assistance. However, as with anything else associated with this business or any other, be cynical about the information you receive and ALWAYS follow your gut.

It would take pages to cover all of your other options, from “massage parlors” to legal brothels in Nevada and overseas. There’s also escort agencies that are actively running scams where the girl goes to a client with the intention of ripping him off. Those scams are too complicated and various to get into, but I strongly encourage you for your personal health and safety to stay away. No matter how much you make, it’s not worth getting beaten up or killed over.

The simple answer to your question is; Yes, you can be an escort without any of the negative stigmas and stereotypes attached to the profession. You can make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year doing it and be perfectly safe, happy and work less than with virtually any other job. There’s always the real possibility of “Sugar Daddies” as well, which takes the income potential sky-high and also opens the door to many other things. The only education you need to do this job, God gave you. Remember to be careful, thoughtful, open-minded and most of all, have fun. Of course there are things to learn and to watch out for. Only your wits and some time can help you there.

If you choose to go that direction, I wish you the best of luck.